How do I get out of here?!

 

Have you ever been lost in a forest? The excitement of hitting the trail dwindles when you become aware that, no matter which way you turn, nothing looks familiar. The trees and plants are becoming so thick that it’s hard to move. The sun is going down and you’re starting to freak out.

 

You may be experiencing something similar in your homeschool life. You may have started off joyfully, but one thing led to another and now you’re standing in the middle of a forest of curriculum and family life, frozen, because there’s too much, it’s too complicated and you can’t possibly make it through to the end of the school year.

 

Well, good news – you can find your way out of the forest.  Because you’re not really lost in an actual forest, you can backtrack and start all over from the beginning.

 

Here’s what we’ll do:

#1:  Identify reasons for feeling overwhelmed

Curriculum issues

Non-curriculum issues

#2: Explore strategies for finishing this school year

With curriculum issues

With non-curriculum issues

Here we go!

 

 #1. Identifying the Reasons You Feel Overwhelmed

 Curriculum Issues

Back to the start of the trail: what are your goals?

 

​At a time like this, when you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s good to step back and look at the big picture. What is it that you are trying to accomplish?  What are your goals for the school year? Have they changed over the past months?

 

If you have a set curriculum, and all you want to do is complete it by the end of the year, that seems reasonable and doable. But sometimes there are many other things you want to do that are not included in your curriculum. They are important to you, but you don’t count them in this year’s goals.

 

For instance, you might have a full year of XYZ curriculum which includes five subjects. You want to complete all five subjects by June 15. In your mind, those are your goals for the school year.

 

HOWEVER…….. you also found

• a fantastic art program that you think would be fun and beneficial
• a sweet little literature program that could help improve reading skills
• plus your child is at a crucial stage in gymnastics and needs to go to the gym four days a week in order to prepare for the upcoming regional
• and, of course, he needs to complete six adventures to earn this year’s Boy Scout badge.

So you see, you have many more goals than just the five subject curriculum.

 

Overwhelm is often caused by inadvertently adding too much to your plate.

 

Overwhelm is often caused by inadvertently adding too much to your plate…er…backpack. Picture starting off on a hike with your backpack reasonably stashed with the necessities: energy bar, water bottle, extra shirt, mini first aid kit. You arrive at the trail head and your kids start adding things: sweatshirts, binoculars, extra snacks, several full water bottles, a can of baked beans with sporks, field guide books, extra socks, and a blanket. All of those things might be handy to have, but now your backpack has become heavy and unmanageable.

 

Running a little late, you start off thinking it will be okay. After all, you’re the mom and your children “need” these things. But after a couple of hours, you are feeling cranky because you’re tired from the extra weight, can’t find what you need and now the kids have lost interest.

 

The same thing can happen with “school” and goals. You start off light and efficient, but then add this and that until it becomes unmanageable. You aren’t able to accomplish what you started off to do.

 

Time to rewrite your goals: your real goals

 

Take a few minutes and write down all of the goals you have for the school year. In other words, when you reach the end of your school year, what would make you feel that you have had a successful year?

 

Include academics and non-academics. For academics, instead of saying, “finish curriculum” be more specific such as, meet state standards for grade 3 math, develop reading skills to be able to read the Little House series, learn state history, study the flora and fauna of our nearby woods for science, etc.

 

Overwhelm can be caused by conflicts and overlaps

 

Now that you’ve reviewed your true goals, revisit your curriculum. You may find that there are either conflicts or overlaps. Both conflict and overlap can wreak havoc in your home education attempts.

 

Conflicts arise when you don’t want to teach the given subject matter or you want to teach it with a different approach. An example of conflict might be using a Classical Education science curriculum (reading, narration, writing definitions) while in your heart you’d really like to go through Exploring Nature with Children (hands on, literature and art nature study).

 

Other examples of conflict are:

• You are following the curriculum but your children cannot grasp the concepts
• You really like your curriculum but it requires too much preparation time
• Material infused with political or religious views that you aren’t comfortable with

 

Feeling conflicted about what or how you are teaching is counterproductive. You might spend an entire year not feeling good about what you are teaching or the way you are teaching it. Or you may be struggling to cover all of the material that is included. This is exhausting and demotivating and leads to feelings of overwhelm.

 

Overlap happens when the same subject or material is being presented in multiple ways causing needless repetition. An example of overlap would be adding an entire literature program to a curriculum which already includes a full language arts section.

 

Overlap causes extra work, takes more time and can make things tedious. Who needs any of that?

 

Take note of conflicts or overlaps.

 

Non-curriculum Issues

 

Going over your goals and curriculum may have shed some light on the reasons you are feeling so distressed. But there can be other reasons, too.

 

• Managing the weight of responsibility: The mental or emotional pressure of feeling that you, alone, are responsible for your children’s education and future.

 

•Doubt: Feeling that you aren’t qualified.

 

• Large family: Difficulty in meeting all the needs (educational and otherwise) of multiple children.

 

• Learning disorders: Understanding, coping and navigating through your child’s unique learning needs.

 

• Lack of cooperation: Children aren’t willing to cooperate.

 

• Lack of support: Partner is not supportive of homeschooling, resources are scarce or community is not supportive.

 

#2:  Strategies for Completing this School Year

Strategies for finishing the year if you have curriculum Issues

 

If your curriculum/plan of study is a good fit

 

Maybe going through the above analysis as affirmed that your curriculum is a good fit. You like the material, there aren’t any conflicts bogging you down and you know how to delete overlaps.

 

Well done!  You have a good foundation.

 

BUT, you still feel overwhelmed and cannot see how you will do everything that is set before you.  Not to worry: there are further steps you can take.

 

Try to pinpoint reasons for feeling unable to make it through the curriculum. Unsure of yourself as a teacher? Not enough time? Difficulty in presenting material? Unable to cover all the bases with multiple children?

 

Fortunately, because you homeschool, you have a lot of leeway in how you choose to conduct your school year.

 

How you can approach the rest of your school year, using your current curriculum, without the stress and worry you are now experiencing?  Here are some ideas. Choose one or a combination of a few:

 

Find affirmation: If you are confident in your curriculum and goals, and yet feel unsure or unqualified to follow through as a teacher, you will want to get help resolving this. Sometimes when we’re isolated in our own world of family and homeschooling we become bogged down with negative thoughts. It’s challenging enough to keep your kids going in the right direction. If you’re also inwardly fighting yourself, things will be that much harder. Find a friend or fellow home educator to share your heart and struggles with. This person can help you trouble shoot and also affirm that you’ve got what it takes. Bolster your confidence by connecting with others who share your goals.

 

Lengthen:  Can you lengthen your school year?  This will give you added time to cover your subjects, perhaps finishing some earlier so that you can focus more on the remaining.

 

Reschedule: Can you reschedule your days?  Are you covering each subject every day? Try breaking it up to certain subjects on given days. Or try this: study your subjects in blocks. For me, this is less stressful and more enjoyable. Doing a 3-4 week block of history, and then a 3-4 week block of science, 3-4 week block of math (new concepts), 3-4 week block of language arts, then repeat throughout the school year. Spelling and handwriting, math drills and independent reading can continue throughout. I find it much easier if I can focus on one major subject for a few weeks at a time. It’s less pressured and less hurried. And in the end, everything is covered.

 

Pare down: browse through the subjects to be studied and decide which aspects you believe to be most important. You will cover these and gloss over the others. This is not ideal, of course, but if you find yourself in the middle of the school year with no hope of finishing your plan of study, then paring down might be the best option. Glossing over would mean simply reading about it to your children (a short version) without any enrichment activities, quizzes or tests. It is kind of sad to resort to this method, but it does feel great to get to the end and feel you’ve completed the year.  Next fall, you can begin afresh, and vow not to wind up the same way next year (which might include looking into other styles of curriculum).

 

Furlough approach: this means you will decide to teach a subject only up to a certain point, then will pick it up again next year.  Depending on your style of curriculum, this may or may not work. You can start the next school year a little early, or you can blend the furloughed material with the new material (I know you are creative like that!). By the end of the first quarter, things should smooth out and you will be caught up.

 

Or, you can find additional help

 

There are a couple of other options that can pick up the pace and give you some breathing room.  You can enlist help and you and try outside classes.

 

Help can be in the form of a tutor (in person or online), grandma, a fellow homeschool parent. Or you can hire a homeschool teenager who would be willing to watch your younger children or clean your house. (It’s amazing how lighter things feel when the house is clean and organized.)

 

Outside classes can be a lifesaver, especially as your children grow older and need more instruction in writing, literature, math and the sciences. You can use your curriculum for most subjects at home, then supplement with one or two subjects via an outside course. If you’re not opposed to being involved with the public school system, classes may be available that way. Private schools often have the option of enrolling in just one or two classes. Many areas have homeschool coops where parents volunteer to teach subjects. And don’t forget, there are online classes galore.

 

If your curriculum is not a good fit

 

Well, you know what they say: the first step to solving a problem is realizing that you have a problem! It is disheartening to realize you’ve chosen the “wrong” curriculum for your family. You’ve invested money and time. But now you have a better idea of what you want. You can either hang on with your current curriculum and try one of the strategies above to get through this school year, or you can switch your curriculum/plan of study now.

 

If you want to switch to a different curriculum mid year, there are options besides purchasing an entire new set.

 

Swap curriculum: Either locally (via your homeschool community) or online. Check out The Homeschool Mom for lots of used curriculum options.

 

Workbooks: Even if workbooks aren’t yours style, if you’re in a bind, they can really help. You can use workbooks for all subjects or just one or two. If you just want to finish the school year with reduced stress and subjects covered, workbooks might be the way to go. Check out Rainbow Resource Center for good options. If you’re interested in complete Christian workbook curricula you could look into AOP (Alpha Omega Publications) and ACE (Accelerated Christian Education).

 

Go online completely:  Google “online homeschool curriculum” for a slew of options. Get your children set up and leave the teaching to someone else. (A least for this year.)

 

Go Holistic:  Maybe your difficulty has been philosophical. You want to educate your children in an enriched, holistic way.  For instance, you can look online for Waldorf education resources or go to Ambleside Online for free Charlotte Mason curriculum and support. I absolutely loved the Weaver (Christian) curriculum years ago with my younger children. You could also look online for unit studies which might correspond with the subjects in your current curriculum. This would provide a different, possibly more enjoyable/less stressful approach to the subjects you had already planned to teach.

 

If you do decide to switch completely in the middle of the school year, give yourself a little time to research and acclimate to your new plan. You might need to make a plan which also incorporates the next school year so that all necessary material is covered. (You can’t expect to complete a whole year of curriculum in just 3-4 months.)

 

Something to consider: If you are homeschooling lower elementary grades (K through 3), go easy on yourself! If you can keep progressing in math and are working on reading and writing consistently (at whatever level your child is capable of), you will be fine. This does not take hours per day. Beyond those three things, reading quality literature, biographies, historical fiction and age appropriate science magazines to your children will fill in the gaps. Again, this does not require a lot of time each day.

 

Strategies for finishing the year if you struggle with issues other than curriculum issues

 

Managing the weight of responsibility. In modern culture, the pressure is great to get your children into a quality school as soon as possible, even as early as age 3. Here (theoretically), trained instructors will guide them in learning all that they need to know for success in life and higher education. Who wouldn’t want to go along with that?

 

Apparently, you don’t want to go along with that.

 

So, what are your reasons? I ask this because when the rubber meets the road, and you are feeling like the responsibility for daring to educate your own child is too great, you will need to remind yourself of why you decided this in the first place.

 

Write down the reason(s) that you decided to homeschool. Keep them handy. 😊

 

Reminding yourself of your reasons for homeschooling will help mitigate the pressure of feeling so responsible. But here are a couple of other thoughts:

 

1) Sending your child to school does not guarantee success.  Teachers, God bless them, are fantastic, caring talented people. But they are limited in how much they can help each child, care for each child and understand each child. They also are working within a framework that dictates what needs to be accomplished each week in order to meet yearly mandates. Not every child will be willing or able to get with the program and problems will ensue. You will feel the weight of those problems and will have to work within their system to problem solve.

 

2) Sending your child to school can require as much work from you as if your child had stayed home to learn. Don’t believe me? If you take into consideration daily homework that needs to be done (usually with your input), extra projects (again, with your input), school schedules that must be met, misunderstandings, miscommunications and disagreements with instructors, maneuvering through social issues (bullying, friendships with children who have vastly different values, exposure to media) – this all adds up.

 

Let’s face it: having children includes the weight of responsibility. Homeschooling is just another way to handle that responsibility.

 

Bonus thought: Your children are probably far brighter and more resourceful than you know. Given the basics, plus opportunity to blossom and grow, you’ll find them surpassing your expectations in different ways.

 

Doubt: My guess is that at some point, every homeschool mom doubts her decision to homeschool and her ability to succeed at it.  It’s no wonder, because here in the US (and other highly developed nations), standard public education is the norm, complete with specially trained instructors from pre-school through the university level. Without a college teaching degree, how can one hope to compete with a system like that?

 

The answer is, we’re not competing, we are simply choosing a different method. I am from a family of highly educated school teachers and I have great admiration for their skills and knowledge. Would homeschool moms benefit from the type of education they’ve received?  Well, of course! But the choice to homeschool is not to prove that a college educated instructor isn’t needed. I choose to homeschool because I feel that there are other things more valuable than learning from a state qualified teacher: things like protection from inappropriate materials and behavior, instilling values that I believe are important, allowing childhood innocence and curiosity to take a natural course. I do not believe I am the greatest teacher around, and as my children grow older than elementary school, I see great benefit in their opportunities to learn from other adults. So no, I am not saying I am “better” than a classroom teacher, but because of my values, I am the best choice for my own children while they are young. And you should believe the same about yourself.

 

If you are doubting your ability to educate your own children, figure out if that is just a vague, negative feeling or if there are actual reasons, and if they are logical.

 

For instance, if you feel you shouldn’t be teaching spelling because you are a terrible speller, think of the logic in that. Are you teaching spelling willy-nilly off the cuff? I’m sure you aren’t! You are probably using some type of spelling book or program. You are overseeing, or following a written curriculum. So, does it matter that you are a terrible speller? Nope. In fact, you probably have great motivation to make sure that your children will be better spellers than yourself.

 

On the other hand, if your high schooler is attempting to learn calculus and your math skills aren’t up for that, your doubt at being a good calculus teacher is logical. But you have options: self teaching texts, online classes, or outside classes at public or private school.

 

So doubt itself can be an indicator of the need for something else. But many times doubt is an inner argument with ourselves that isn’t thought through. When you experience doubt, get to the root of that feeling and see if it is valid or not. Either fix the problem or banish the thought. But don’t let feelings of doubt hound you. That contributes to overwhelm.

 

Large family:  No doubt about it, having multiple children complicates things. There are so many needs! Emotional, developmental, educational!  Feeling overwhelmed because of the number of children in your household is understandable. The question is, how can you handle it? Perhaps the answer is going back to curriculum and how you are attempting to educate. Depending upon your situation and ages of your children, you may want to take a multifaceted approach. For example, maybe grouping younger ages together and going with a unit study approach, and older children doing some workbook or online based studies? There is so much that could be discussed here. Taking a second look above at “strategies for finishing the school year with curriculum issues” (above) might provide some ideas.

 

Learning disorders:  Learning disabilities can be an extra challenge, but homeschooling can be a big plus. After all, you are more in tune with your child than a classroom teacher (who has a new group of students each year) will be. You also have the ability and environment in which to be flexible. The key is understanding your child’s disorder and finding resources to accommodate their needs. Some disabilities are mild and not readily discerned, while other situations are more obvious. Your state homeschool association is probably a good resource for information on disorders and perspectives on teaching. You can also contact local homeschooling organizations and check Facebook for supportive groups.

 

You will want to have your child professionally assessed so you will have clarity on how to proceed successfully. Your local public school system may be helpful with this. If you want to go this route, check with your local or state homeschool association to check on recommended procedures. You also can start with your family health provider who can provide guidance in having your child evaluated.

 

Lack of cooperation: If your children are not cooperating with your homeschooling efforts, there could be a variety of reasons. First is your parenting style. If you lack cooperation overall, then looking into ways to effectively parent could be very helpful. None of us is born with parenting know how! We all need help with this from time to time.

 

If your children are balking at the concept of homeschooling, there are steps you can take which will be helpful. I recommend listening to their complaints. Do they miss social interaction? Do they feel they’d like someone, besides mom, to teach? If so, why? Sometimes understanding their concerns and misgivings will lead to cooperative solutions.

 

I would also like to recommend my (free) e-book, 5 Essentials of Homeschooling, especially the later chapters, where I discuss the unique needs of homeschooling children and parents.

 

Lack of support: It tough to continue with anything when you don’t have support. Homeschooling really is a family affair, so support from your partner is pretty important. If you both have different views, you’ll need to seriously consider your decision. Is some type of compromise possible? For instance, accountability to an online entity or public school home education program?

 

If you are struggling to obtain needed resources, your local homeschool organization or state homeschool association could help. There are also online curriculum groups which pass along used resources for just the cost of shipping. Homeschool groups, both local and on platforms such as Facebook, are great places to ask about and locate all kinds of homeschool items.

 

If you feel alone and without support outside of your own four walls, that can be remedied. Checking online for local homeschool groups is easy and you just might find the friends you need. There are also lots of homeschool groups online where you can ask questions, read reviews and find people who understand your concerns.

 

For more ideas on continuing your homeschool year with challenges not necessarily curriculum related, try my Lost on the Crashing Waves of the Sea page.

 

I hope this page has generated ideas and brought you hope and comfort. Taking responsibility for your child’s education can be at once invigorating and terrifying. But there really are options and solutions if you truly want to homeschool and you feel that things aren’t working. On the other hand, it’s possible that homeschooling isn’t what you thought it would be. You likely have the option of enrolling your child in public or private school if you are feeling that is a better option, at least for now. There is no shame in that. I’m confident that you will make the best decision for your family. And, unless your child is graduating from high school, there’s always next year!

Lost in the Forest Think Sheet PDF