Man, oh man!  Who ever thought you’d be managing your child’s education….every day…..at home!

You are in the middle of a (forced) lifestyle change, and it’s not easy!

Putting myself in your shoes I get it, you’re dealing with a lot!  With this in mind, I hope some of the following thoughts will be helpful.

Here’s the thing about school

So here’s the thing about school: Classroom teaching is designed to usher large groups of children through a form of education where they will all learn the same information and skills to equip them for life. When you’re talking about large numbers of students (56 million in the US!), you gotta have a system to educate, control, reward and discipline. But when that same educational program is suddenly brought home, the system looks a lot different. Instructors are not there in person, authority is shifted, rewards and encouragement that come with group interaction are absent and expected discipline is up in the air.

That’s a lot of adjusting for kids as well as parents. You may still be working – either in home or out – and now you are also expected to guide your child’s education and fill in the gaps once filled by on campus learning. On top of that, even though distance learning was introduced (abruptly!) last spring, this is still new for everyone, including teachers who are struggling to make teaching methods compatible with remote learning. It was a mess last spring, and is still a huge challenge in so many ways.

Emails, Google Classroom,  Zoom, Schoology…..the list goes on. The idea of having your kids sit at a computer for 6 hours a day doesn’t feel right. There’s still confusion.

You know all of this, but I am affirming that this is a very trying situation. It isn’t realistic for anyone to expect this to magically work right from the start of the school year.  So you’re off the hook. You have permission to be the normal, caring parent you are, who is doing her best. Anxiety, take a hike.

It’s gonna take some time

With that in mind, my next thought is this: give yourself and your children some extra grace. No one wanted this situation and it’s been pretty hard to prepare for the new school year. You didn’t sign up to be an academic instructor  and your children may be resisting this “new normal.”

It will take time to figure things out and that’s ok!  Your home and life are in transition. I repeat: it’s your home and your life. Hopefully, the school you are working with is understanding of this.

The teamwork approach

So, what are steps you can take to adjust?

I suggest that teamwork is a good approach. Now that you know what will be expected from school, perhaps take time to have a one on one convo with each of your children. Maybe you can find a moment when no one is stressed and upset (good luck with that?).  Ask what your child’s concerns are and express your own. In the midst of such frustration, if everyone can feel like they are all part of the same team, it will really help.

If your kids are having a hard time of it, now is probably not the time to add more pressure. For some, their “whole life” has been altered and having mom or dad come down hard on getting school work done is likely to yield undesirable results. Give this all some time, and also practice the fine art of negotiation. Sometimes kids don’t have the skills or mature thinking ability to easily pop through something like this. Some young people – regardless of their age – need assistance in embracing a new reality and learning how to manage in it.

If your children are balking at how much they “have” to do, try working together to make a daily or weekly schedule. You probably don’t have to do every academic subject every day. Maybe some days can be creative days and others academic days. Perhaps all school work gets done before noon, or maybe your teenager requires more sleep and will complete school work later in the day. See what works within whatever schedule may be mandated by the school system. And if you would all be better off by dropping or adjusting a few things for now, for the sake of peace, just do it.

Is this serendipity?

Hear me out on this. Just maybe this is serendipity: a unique opportunity to do some things you previously wouldn’t have attempted or thought of. If you’re all spending more time at home a you can: plant a garden together, play music together, study art together, learn a language together, __________ (fill in the blank) together. Even if you have time constraints which don’t allow for large undertakings, are there still ways to take advantage of this season of togetherness? For me, a favorite aspect of homeschooling is time to share important things that might otherwise be missed. This often happens during our leisurely breakfast time where I read a portion of scripture each day, read aloud the next chapter of a beloved novel, usually listen to a new selection of classical music and maybe appreciate a work of art together. If things go haywire and we don’t accomplish anything else during the day, at least we’ve done that! What passion do you wish to pass onto your children? Maybe now is the time to start.

Too much togetherness?

So all of this is based on an awful lot of togetherness, right? Not a fan? I understand! If you’re not used to having your children around all the time, and they’re not used to being with you all day long, it can feel uncomfortable, maybe stifling. You may have had hopes that schools would be open again by now, only to find that we’re continuing where we left off last May. Accepting that this is what’s happening, is half the battle in reducing stress and making the situation workable.  But you can be creative in carving out your own space and there is a good chance that you will all evolve, finding your own ways to make this work.

The good news is that it’s doubtful that we all be confined to our own houses with just our own family for the rest of our lives.  This phase will end, and some semblance of our previous normalcy will return. And, eventually, the kids will probably go back to school. (If you want them to 😉).

If school closures do continue, you might want to look into options. Traditionally, homeschooling takes a very different approach from what is being required of parents during this pandemic crisis: less nightmare, more fun and fulfillment.

In the meantime, find the support you need, including what I offer on this website.. Take a look around and let me know of the challenges you are facing.

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